Our entire lives are based on decisions.
Everything is a choice: what type of food to cook, what movie to watch, what to wear, what type of friends to choose, to stay in a unsatisfactory relationship or to take the risk to seek for another one, to quit the current job and to start doing the things that we really love, to go in a trip or to save money, etc.
We make decisions in all the aspects of our lives: in corporations, in small business, in government agencies, schools, in personal life.
How many times did you find yourself in a middle of a crossroads? What did you do? What was the first step that you’ve made? did you look at the way you’re making decisions? What did you learn from the process?
My way to clarity
I want to learn more about how to make better decisions, because I discovered that my poor decisions cost myself and also people around me.
So, what is a better decision? A better decision is the one which makes me feel good about the way I make it and that gets BETTER RESULTS.
So, what is the first step? STOP proceeding with a poor decision! Only creating this void you can fill it with a better decision. Having the courage to let go what is familiar or comfortable is not always so easy for me.
Before making a decisions we have to ask ourselves two questions:
– head question
– heart question
The better our decision-making system is, the easier it is to get better results.
The system is based on “yes” or “no” answers. This system will become the map you can use in the future.
I found that the more I use heart questions, the more satisfied I am about the process and decisions I make. We all use the practical ways to get to the core of the situation or problem we need to make a decision: balance sheet, pros and cons, advices, etc. (see the part 2 of this article)
PRACTICAL PART OF DECISION MAKING PROCESS
Am I meeting the real need, informing myself of options and thinking it through?
A. What is my real need?
If you answer “no” to the first part of the question, it means that you don’t know what you really need. So, a want is a wish and a need is a necessity. How many times did you find that you wanted something and after achieving it, wasn’t fulfilling? A need is basic, nurturing, is what a situation requires. A want is an attractive distraction which keeps us away from what we really need. Yes, truly successful people pursue first what they need.
When I pursue only the real need, the decision making process is more effective, I am more decisive and I make better decision sooner. We want a lot but we need little.
B. Informing myself
CREATE THE VISION you need to see easier the results already achieved!
Only focusing on what we really need, makes easier to start doing the first steps. Chunk the goals till it will be easy to take action! Needs are essential for success and fulfilment.
Use the secret questions
But, how do I see what I want? I ask myself “What do I want to do now?”
To see what I really need, I ask myself “What I like to have done?”
The more information you gather, the more aware you become of the options. Research, studies, advices, experiences, etc. anything related with the situation it will be useful. But, don’t forget to VERIFY the information you gather from external resources!
Of course, I choose the option which meets the real need.
C. Process awareness
Yes, my past decisions are my best mentors. They can teach me more than another person can do, to avoid illusion and see reality. But, it is very important not to be too hard with yourself. Try to believe that, you have done your best.
MEASURE you results!
To see how good my results are, I measure them against my real needs. If I act on my decision what would happen? then what?…then what?….What would I do in the worst case? Or in the best case? How clearly do I foresee the most likely results? for me? for others?
-to be continued with heart questions-