Words DO NOT teach, only experiences!!
But HOW DO YOU REALLY LEARN FROM PAST EXPERIENCES? HOW DO YOU ANALYZE A PARTICULAR EXPERIENCE?
Even though I am obsessed with reading and I invest a lot in my own development and growth, I realized that my past decisions are my own best mentors. Looking at them realistically can teach me more than any person to avoid illusion and see the reality.
As I look at my results, I learnt to treat not too hard on myself. I lighten up, because I DID THE BEST I KNEW HOW at that moment.
NOW, I get better results because I focus on meeting the real need, informing myself of options and thinking things through to a better result.
To see how good my results are, I measure them against my meeting the real need.
To find out your real need, ALWAYS START WITH WHY!
QUESTIONS: WHY do I want to make a decision now? WHY do I want this goal to happen? What would the results have to be to fill the real need? If I act on my decision, what would probably happen? Then what?…Then what?….
What do I fear would be the worst result? What would the best result be?
What would I do in the worst/best case?
How clearly do I foresee the most likely results? For me? For others?
NOTE: Our decisions reveal our beliefs
VALUES – BELIEFS- GOALS – ATTITUDES – ACTIONS
How to analyze an experience:
There are 3 types of attributions we give to our past experiences:
LOCUS – the cause of belief is internal or external of the person
STABILITY – the cause is something which happens sporadically or with regularity
CONTROLLED – the cause is under the control of the person or is due to external uncontrolled forces.
But how to get to better decisions?
First of all, be honest with yourself! To discover the truth, look for the fiction you want to believe is true but cannot really count on.
The truth is that we see each other’s mistakes more easily, so I often park my ego and ask others what they can see and then I notice what really feels true to me.
So, use HEART Questions: Have I looked closely enough at my past decisions to learn from them? Have I done a reality check by observing what is really going on around me and within me? Have I noticed the obvious? Do I see the truth? Am I telling myself the Truth?
USE YOUR INTUITION!
How you feel about HOW you make a decision often forecasts your results.
QUESTIONS: Do I feel stressed or peaceful? Clear of confused? Drained or energized? fearful or enthusiastic? What would I decide if I were not afraid? Does this decision really feel right to me? Am I trusting my intuition?
CONCLUSION: What your mind can’t tell you, your body reveals
Whenever you have to make a decision, after checking the pros and cons always ask your heart how it feel about the decisions just made. Check how you feel, how is your body feeling.