2013, year-end retrospective
Thinking in retrospective, while trying to put a label on the whole year and define the moments that passed by so quickly, I realized that is more than an enumeration, a chain of achievements or challenges, it is about lessons that I’ll take away next year, that I’ll transform into actions and hopefully into healthy habits that will enable me to become a better ME.
We all have different patterns of thinking, behaving and feeling. But do they always serve our development and progress? Are they always the pillars of our happiness? Well, finding the answer is always in our hands and we are the only ones responsible to find it.
Some of the patterns or models are good, as old as they are; they make us to be the way we are, genuine, independent, enthusiastic, utterly ourselves.
But some of the old models of thinking and behaving don’t serve our own good anymore, they only keep us trapped, in the same place in a rapid and changing world.
By writing this list of the lessons that I’ve learned throughout the year, I create room for new healthy patterns and beliefs. These new platforms, will bring closure to this year and help me prepare for a positive and powerful start of the New Year.
So, the first lesson that I’ve learned is:
Let’s be honest, we all compare ourselves with other people, with their achievements, success, expensive cars or houses, their great financial situations and big families, etc. Sometimes we assume also that they are happier, much happier than us. And what happens after? We find ourselves trapped in a goal achievement process, obsessed by the outcome and environment, without looking inside and realizing that we are complete and happy.
The truth: I am in exactly where I need to be and the journey is unfolding perfectly for me, there is a ride to enjoy in the meantime:)
2. Let go of what doesn’t serve you!
This is maybe one of the biggest and hardest lesson that I’ve learned this year. I learned this lesson in a friendship that I had for almost 13 years. It is weird how sometimes we take things for granted, including friendships. I assumed that will always be the same expectations, priorities, commitment, no matter what happens. But guess what? The assumptions don’t help you, they just keep you blind. I imagine how different everything will be with a little bit of awareness and attentiveness.
The truth: A friendship is something in progress,is not static. It is like any other relationship something that you need to work on, to feed and nurture, to evaluate, reevaluate until will serve you both 100 %.
I found myself challenged many times within the decision making process. Intuition played a big role in this system. There were situations when I listened to my inner compass and other contexts where I ignored my inner voices, I listened to the environment, or simply I was afraid to say that I “don’t feel is right”. And I always blamed myself afterwards for not following my inner voice. This year I learned that there is no exception for this, you always have to listen to your own “heart”, it knows better at the end, what is best for you.
The truth: We live in an emotional world not a rational world, so stop trying to rationalize everything or to justify your decisions! Intuition will always make you feel is right.
4. There is no wrong or right way for things to happen, they will happen differently for everybody
In terms of progress and development, especially in my business, I found myself sometimes stressed about the way things happen until I realized that I’m different, therefore I will encounter new paths and challenges. I don’t have to repeat old patterns and stories.
The truth: Enjoy the contrast and the richness of life, be curious and don’t expect to repeat others stories.
5. I don’t have to be the “go-to-person” for everyone, even though my job/calling says so
Being a coach, I care for people and I have that eagerness to help them, to support and motivate others to achieve their goals. But this tendency is transposed also in private life. I don’t stop being a coach outside the office, I continue to offer the unconditional positive regard, the genuine attentiveness and active listening. But this year, I realized that sometimes is damaging.
The truth: is alright to have boundaries and to assess my needs. It shows respect for myself and utterly I can offer a better coaching service in the working hours for my coachees. Everybody needs to be responsible for their own lives, I can only control what happens to me.
6. Retell a new story for the future, don’t rehearse the past
We learn through storytelling. We tell stories to others, we hear other people telling their stories and take them as models, or we rehearse the past in our minds over and over again until becomes automatically. This year, I paid more attention to my private stories during my daydreaming and I realized that some of them are from the past that doesn’t serve my own current good.
The truth: Daydreaming is beneficial if is positive or future oriented, otherwise let it go
7. Let go of the need to know more and be more
What a relief, to let go of the need to know more! Is ok to take a break sometimes, to be grateful for what you are right here right now.
Creating sticky habits is easier when we make use of our current routines, instead of trying to fight them. The concept of “if-then planning” is built around environmental “triggers” that we can use to let us know that it’s time to act on your habit.
In other words, is about picking a regular part of your schedule and then building another “link in the chain” by adding a new habit. For example, I will exercise for 20 minutes and afterwards I will mediate for another 20 minutes. It is much easier than saying “I have to meditate for 20 minutes today”.
9. The moments of awe make me feel a better person
The Existentialist philosopher A. Camus said “Life should be lived to the point of tears”. There is a fundamental human need to marvel, to become overwhelmed, to be flooded by cascading waves of meaning.
This year, I fulfilled this need by traveling in Ireland and Scotland. Nature always offered me the feeling of awe, compassion and 100% altruism.
The truth: Seeking for inspiration is really seeking a better self.
Looking forward to seek new adventures and learn more next year!
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