Thinking clouds that distract us from CLARITY – Personal Attacks
We talked already about different negative thinking “clouds” that can distract us from our focus and clarity.
a) Wrong authority
b) Wrong dilemma
c) Wrong motivation
This week I’d like you to become more aware about those situations when you feel attacked by others and you start differing from your goal. A “personal attack” can hit hard as it diverts your focus from the issue onto your ego. To successfully deal with this form of manipulation, you must use your PASSION to control your emotions.
The personal attacks include:
1. Abuse and Stereotyping
2. Fears, Uncertainty and Doubts
3. The need to be always right “You’re wrong, I’m right”
1. Abuse and Stereotyping
This thinking cloud can be summed up in three words: taking things personally – and it can put you completely off track and make you lose your excellent thinking power and PASSION to achieve.
I always highlight passion, because I believe is the fuel that keeps us going no matter what. If we don’t operate with passion, we find ourselves ego driven, disconnected from our values and unfulfilled. Passion, i also associated with motivation. If I love what I’m doing, I feel energized all the time and I’ll willing to overcome any obstacles.
When we take things personally our focus does a complete U-turn. So, instead of concentrating on our goal down the road in front of us, our focus has turned around to look at our ego pushing us on from behind. Instead of our thinking being directed ahead and focused on our goal, taking things personally makes us lose track and change focus back onto ourselves and our ability to achieve our goal.
Reminder: Our PERFORMANCE ≠SENSE of SELF-WORTH
Example: Think about a presentation that you had recently. Have you been clear and focused on your message instead of being stressed about how will you deliver the message?
Can be two ways in which we can highjack our clarity and focus:
a) we do it to ourselves
This can happen when we think about triggers that can distract us from our goal. In our case, the presentation, the trigger can be to make a small mistake during the presentation that will be enough for us to lose clarity and focus.
One way of keeping your clarity:
1. Ask yourself before the presentation: “What thoughts can distract me from my goal? If there will be about mistakes, think about which are your most common mistakes and fix them in your mind. Give another look to your presentation, test it and ask the opinion of a friend. If it will happen to make a mistake during the delivery, think about ways to admit it with confidence and move on. Remember: Passion is your fuel, not your ego/worries.
b) when others do to ourselves
Imagine the same presentation and someone will tell you that the figures you used in your example were wrong. If you fall victim to it, you will get caught up in the confusion of associating your “ego” with the “issue”. If you defend yourself against this type of attack it is doubly dangerous. I know what you are thinking of: “it is human to defend yourself”. Is true, but where is the whole presentation go? The direction will be towards the battle “I’m right, you’re wrong” away from the goal, the real issue.
The idea is that this type of interruptions happen almost instantly so it will be harder to answer with confidence.
Some ways to deal with the situation:
If you admit the mistake, if you validate the opinion of the other person.
a) Use humour
b) Defer it – “we can discuss that matter later, now the point is….”
c) GET BACK TO YOUR PRESENTATION
– Take a deep breath, smile and carry on
Already thinking about your fears and worries? Watch this short video that I recorded for you.
CLICK HERE for your video “Learned helplessness”
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Stay tuned till next week, for the next letter about fears, uncertainty and doubt.
Have a great week of clarity and productivity!
Elite Vision Coaching
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