Designed for Happiness

Designed for happiness and the story of the New Year, 

In that evening John looked at them and said, while taking another deep breath: “Don’t make stuff because you want to make money – it will never make you enough money. And don’t make stuff because you want to get famous – because you never feel famous enough”.  With a deep wise look in his eyes, with his large black hat that looked like a raven with widespread wings and his velvet vest across which the patina of the centuries had skated, took another sip of water and remained in silence for a few moments. His followers looked at him as if they were holding their breaths, waiting to absorb, his next wise teachings, just like the soil greedily absorbs the new water trying to calm its thirst. 
“If you worship money and things….then you will never have enough. never feel you have enough” he added.When I saw this person speaking, a couple of years ago, I felt that impressed, that I felt the Earth moving underneath my feet.

“I have a new focus now, TO BE HAPPY!!!”, I said to myself.

“Simple enough, you’d think….” – I continued in my mind, thinking about all the doubts that will get myself trapped in along the journey.
When I think about happiness, I do, like everybody else, I think about adding more, assuming that I don’t have enough, that I am not enough. Is it true?

What does it really mean to HAVE ENOUGH?

I started this year with these type of thoughts:
“What does it mean to have enough?”,
“How can I emphasize the positive feelings about my current happiness without any projections or future expectations?”
“How can I befriend with my inner life”?

At the beginning of the year, most of us, dress up with the layers of the New Year’s expectations, New ambitions (New Year’s Resolutions if you’d like to call them like that) and easily, very rapidly, put those on our shoulders, add up a big cheeky smile on our faces and drink quickly the potion of the big lie “This Year I’ll be MORE, Have MORE”.

This year, it was different for me, I wasn’t feeling cold, I didn’t need to warm myself up with the excitement of the new achievements. I felt somehow, just like a child who discovered old shoes in the cupboard, I felt like dancing again.

“This Year, I will simply dance, I’ll allow the music to feed me” – I promised to myself.
This time, I will discover the inner music and befriend with it.

My dear reader, I wanted to share with you my thoughts about the new course of my life, because I know that you appreciate having a good life for yourself too.
As a person interested in achievements, is very easy to let yourself drowned by the thought of the future success. It’s easy to postpone happiness.

*Happiness as a bank account without savings or loans*

I never thought about happiness as a bank account before. I recently realised that happiness is just like that.

We put time there, in the account, exactly 1440 minutes a day. Without any exception, we use this time every single day. If it is not used in our favour, then, is lost, LOST forever. There is no way back! There is nobody there to borrow us time, to help us to retrieve those great moments that make our hearts beat and our faces smile like demanded poker players that just won their last game.

But how Do I make these 1440 minutes to REALLY matter?
How do I let go the thoughts of “should” (I should improve myself to be better, I should try to let go the pain, I should let painful things to go away, maybe that way I’ll learn to live in the moment, maybe then, only then I’ll be happy”)?

To answer to the question above, I came up with some solutions for myself:

1 – I accept the life as it is right now and be grateful
Is very easy to project ourselves in the future or to live in the pain, thinking about the past, thinking about what other people think about us, or how others or different events will hurt us. But the truth is that, with these projections, the only thing that we do right, is to use inefficiently our time, which, never comes back. Life is not about deadlines, achievements, results, life is more about music, about enjoying the dance, the fly.
When we dance, we don’t plan the next steps, we feel like a leaf in the wind wore by the hands of the wind in the rhythm of the new song. We don’t plan or guess the notes, we don’t allow the knowledge to burden our fly. Don’t get me wrong, I love knowledge, but to be really fulfilled it means to live the music, not to KNOW the music. Music is what makes us feel fulfilled. achievements, deadlines make us feel filled with punctual pleasure. The pleasure, unfortunately doesn’t last.

2 – Rediscover myself
The art of letting go, the art of unlearning old things and discovering, learning new ones, is within myself not somewhere in the wind. I love the journey to myself, so I will use daily few minutes of those 1440 to cultivate self connection and self-attention.

3 – Being present – a life style
Being present is not something that happens once and then you have achieved it. Being alive to the process of life itself, makes us feel fulfilled and happy.

4 – Life as an equation: HAPPINESS = pleasure + purpose
When we wear the clothes of deadlines, achievements, we feel very cosy with our expectations of the new pleasures. And maybe we have purpose too but the question is: It is really worth it? Every time when we have new goals, we should ask ourselves “What is the price of this goal”? 
A long boring job, or a time spent in misery at work, a dreadful relationship, unsuitable friends, don’t really matter when we count happiness. Remember, that time is lost forever.

Advice
Check within yourself which ingredients you should add in YOUR life, to make this balance work. Is it about pleasure or about purpose that will make your life worthwhile? You are the only person who knows the answer

5 – Worry less and be self-centered than constantly compared with others
For me there are plenty of triggers of worryability. I noticed them and also tried to understand what makes me anxious. In the last studies, the highest rate of anxiety is for people around 40 years old and comes back later on in our 70’s. Also, in the 40’s we all experience the lowest level of life satisfaction. Of course, these numbers are only general, they don’t necessarily apply to everyone of us.

Advice

Meditation, dance and any form of art have the purpose of reducing any sort of anxiety you might feel. I would highly recommend exploring these options.

We are all designed for happiness, is good sometimes to remind ourselves that we ARE ENOUGH.

I hope that you enjoyed reading my thoughts and if you would like to meet, we have a great first meeting next Wednesday, in the Apartment, Belfast, City Centre.
Join us with a click here

Thank you for reading and remember, design your life, don’t let other people to set up your direction!

Laura

Development Coach
Elite Vision Coaching

Keep exploring ~ Make connections ~ Share your discoveries

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